Invisible Motherhood

Invisible Motherhood is a space for women to share stories and creative responses to motherhood experiences that can seem invisible in society. In 2018 I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I found the experience shocking and life changing. I felt naive about what to expect, despite many women around me having experienced miscarriage (I found out later). I noticed some friends, family and work colleagues found it difficult to talk about, or know what to say, or understand what my body might be going through, or when I might be better. I found it hard to know what support I might need or what to tell people. I wanted to shut myself away and hide, or shout to at strangers on the bus when my daughter was having a melt down and it was all I could do to just get home. Despite being incredibly common, I realised that we don’t talk openly about miscarriage in society. For many its a private, even secret experience. It might have happened before telling anyone about the pregnancy. I started to think about other maternal experiences that might be happening across the country, the world, that are unspoken or may even feel taboo or shameful because they feel invisible in society. I felt passionately that being open might help someone else with a difficult experience of miscarriage, abortion, still birth, adoption, child loss, IVF, post natal depression, living with a disease or health condition, domestic abuse, FGM - no name a few. This page is both an invitation and a place of growing resource. If you would like to make, write, draw something to share an invisible motherhood experience, please get in touch and start a conversation.

Lizzy Humber (MWM Producer) - lizzy[at]motherswhomake.org

My invisible Western

A story about my miscarriage

By Lizzy Humber

“I notice simple hemp bags hanging pristinely at the zero waste stand and hurriedly fill some with cornflakes and pumpkin seeds. I forget to weigh them and have to fluster with this at the counter. I’m terrified the assistant knows I am trying to buy a shroud for my baby.” 

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My Silent Miscarriage

By Katie Villa

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“My mum managed to convince me that I was in shock and that I shouldn’t drive, and soon my husband was at home, holding me while I sobbed. I wanted a second chance. I wanted the opportunity to see her without the fear. I wanted us to hold her together.” 

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The Waiting Room

The thoughts of a new a Mum who was meant to embark on life with 3 under the age of 2

By Catherine Copley

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“It’s all very strange in those moments after, the room wasn’t filled with cry’s, but it’s quiet and calm. They’re not placed straight on me, my wonderful midwife who’s said all the right things, done all the right things, takes them away to prepare them before I see them.“

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Blown

Remembrance of An Early Termination

By Christine Rose

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“We sat up on bar stools; I felt incredibly happy. Hadn’t I come through a tiny private little bloody war in Richmond, a seedy, white-gowned act of self-slaughter? Yet here I was sipping beer in a bar with music and lights. How vigorously life could make good. How blessed I was to be free.” 

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I had an abortion.

By Claire Tustin

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“Even when he removed a condom halfway through sex without my consent, I didn’t complain as much as I should have done. The first proper row we had was when I got pregnant and he said he didn’t want me to keep the baby.”

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